Tomorrow I start losing my weight. I got it all figured out. I want a flat belly, I want slim legs. My problem is that i can't workout because I hate health issues so I am losing my weight. My plan is that I eat my breakfast before I go to school the first day just to test it. Then at lunch I will eat only a bit so no one will suspect anything. I have a friend that i hang out with her in school all the time and I think she is anorexic. I wish I were too.
I hate myself, I hate my face. I hate the pimples that occasionally emerge on my ugly face. I hate it that I'm so insecure that I can't go to school without my makeup and my hair done.
I'm sure that no one is reading this but it's so good to express that somewhere. It's so nice.
So I went on pro-ana sites and I got some tips. But I have a problem. I'm worried about my weight losing because I have pills that make my blood not clotted and I if I take too much I can bleed on the inside. And I'm sure my mom will find out that I'm losing my weight. I don't care. I don't care if I end up in hospitals. I've been in hospitals all my childhood. It's so nice. Actually, it wasn't nice when I went to surgery. It was so painful that I thought that I was gonna die.
Anyway, I want to escape this body. I'll add a picture soon so I can see the changes in my imperfect body. My mother told me that I should lose a little weight. What the hell? You don't tell that to your kid.
I'm 168 cm tall and I weight 52 kg. Some people say that that is not huge but my body doesn't look good. I hate my waist and my belly and my legs.
Now I will post this and write another post about my love life.
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